Pain

My pain is such a variable issue, but recovery this time was slightly faster than after William’s birth. I stayed home from everything, including church, because of the pain. It was hard to bring the wheelchair and a preemie baby out in the winter, plus is was cold and flu season, and a nastly flu was making it’s rounds in our church. On the 4th week, as Elizabeth was now fully gestational age, I still felt that she was too newborn to take out so I think I waited til the 5th week, and by then I could walk some. I did take the wheelchair to church though. I missed that attention one gets when bringing a newborn baby to church, feeling like she wasn’t as new anymore because she was 5 weeks old, but really she was the size of a 1 week old!

Also at 5 weeks, I was able to walk to the end of the block and back. It didn’t hurt at the time, but I paid for it a couple hours later.

At 5 weeks and 2 days, I made my first meal for the family. Dave has been gracious to do most of the cooking. Some days it’s great, and somedays it’s what ever can be pulled out of the fridge, or sandwiches. But at least the kids are getting fed. Our church is so gracious and generous too - as they have been arranging for meals from parishioners to make meals for us. Thank you Lord!

My pain has gradually getting a little better. I’m able to do most walking but I am still in a lot of pain. But I think a lot of that is due to the lack of cortizol from the adrenal problems I’m having.

Elizabeth's name

I never did tell the story of how Elizabeth acquired her name (and two middle names). Dave and I have liked the name Elizabeth for a while. I like the traditional feeling of it, and while doing geneology I came across the name several times on both my and Dave’s side. I guess I’m not the only one who likes that name. Also there are so many wonderful saints named Elizabeth. But in particular she is named after Mary’s cousin Elizabeth, relative of Jesus. And Dave and I like to include Mary in our girl’s names (with the exception of Maggie, but she is named after Mary Magdelene).

While I was pregnant, I was praying a prayer for a safe and peaceful delivery. I had been such a nervous wreck thinking I would have a hard delivery again like William’s so I was praying this prayer diligently. There were three parts to the prayer. Each paragraph made a request to a different saint: Mary - mother of Jesus, Elizabeth - mother of John, and Ann - mother of Mary. The paragraph which called on the intercession of Ann was the request for a peaceful delivery. Since I was so afraid of dying during childbirth - a fear I had during William’s birth when he was stuck - I prayed that part of the prayer most fervently. One day I realized that I was naming my baby after two of the people in this prayer of 3. So I made a deal with Ann that if she gave me the peaceful delivery I prayed for, that I would name my daughter after her too! She came through for me with flying colors. I was amazed at how peaceful the delivery was. I even thought about that between contractions once. I vividly remember thinking that this time was different. I could rest between contractions and I didn’t fear death. I focused on that picture of the Blessed Sacrament and remembered that Fr. Corey was in front of the Blessed Sacrament for me and that others were praying. I found out later that Suzanne (Elizabeth’s Godmother) prayed a rosary for us and she ended it right at the time Elizabeth was born! So thank you Ann for the peace from God that I needed to get through that birth. Thank you for Elizabeth Mary Ann.

Colic

Can colic ever be avoided completely? I don’t recall ever escaping it with any of my kids, though some have been milder than others. Well Elizabeth was no exception, as she began a fussy period around 6 weeks. She would sleep fine all day, but around suppertime she would fuss and fuss and cry. Dave would have to walk her to sleep, but she would only sleep for about 10 minutes and then wake and cry again. She wasn’t too bad but I couldn’t take care of her without Dave. One time, the girls and I stayed overnight at Patti Goke’s house, and Elizabeth cried til past midnight. It was a very hard night for me. A couple weeks into this, I took Elizabeth to Dr. Sarah for a chiropractor adjustment. She is so good with babies. She said her Vegas nerve was pinched. That nerve deals with digestion, so it would make sense that Elizabeth was fussy and pulling her legs up to her stomach (stomach pain?). After one adjustment she cried less, after two her fussiness was completely gone. She is such a pleasant baby again. She gently goes to sleep by sucking her pacifier now. It’s very sweet, and fun to watch. She is 11 weeks old now and is such a joy.

Christmas

Well, I write about Christmas almost two months after the date (it’s Feb 20 today) and I hardly remember much of it! Christmas is such a blur from waking up in the middle of the night, and nursing, and nursing, and nursing... But I do remember this:

We arrived home on Christmas Eve at 4:00. My mother had made dinner for us (don’t remember what) and it took us most of the evening to unload and get settled. Nursing took some time because I had to nurse, burp, nurse, burp, and pump. The lactation consultant came to visit me in the hospital, and said that since she was premature I should pump after each feeding to make sure my milk supply comes in well enough, and that I should continue doing so until my due date. So a nursing session took about an hour.

Eventually after supper, nursing, and unpacking, baby and I came downstairs and joined the family. Dad and Mom, and Tony came from ND. Rebecca and Michael came over at suppertime. After supper we opened presents; the many presents from various places and people God blessed us with. We couldn’t afford presents for the kids this year, so our church stepped in and blessed our kids beyond what I could have imagined. The church asked me if I could tell them a suggestion of what the kids would like. For a couple of the kids, I wrote they would like either “this” or “that”. To my surprise, they kids received both! Ben even received the Minnesota Wild wrist watch that I only knew could be bought online or at the Mall of America! He loves it so much. Then Josiah brought up a bunch of presents that he bought, and he also brought over a bunch of presents that someone from the church he lives by dropped off. (At Halloween, someone from the church came to all the apts in his building looking for homes with children - she had bags of candy with bible verses and advertisements for their church. Josiah said no kids live there, but that he had 9 siblings.) The lady came to his door and said, “Remember me? I have some gifts for your siblings.” And of course, she asked if she could pray with Josiah too. They each received a general “boy” or “girl” gift, like puzzles or a teddy bear. The little kids loved it.

Our tree, which was put up on Sunday the day Elizabeth was born, still had not been decorated, so after the kids had opened a bunch of presents and things slowed down, the older kids decorated the tree. Then we all relaxed until about 10:30. Rebecca and Tony went to the late mass, and the rest went to bed and went to church in the morning. I didn’t make it to Christmas mass, walking was still very painful for me. I still have a very hard time with the stairs - they are overwhelming, but I needed to come down to visit with family, yet go back up every couple hours for nursing and pumping, which was very stressful physically and mentally. Just a week prior, when I was still pregnant, I only tackled the stairs once a day. In fact I would try to sleep in as much as possible so I didn’t need to go back up there for a nap. But after she was born, and when company was here, I felt obligated to be downstairs. My mom complained one day she was here. I had slept in til 10:00 or so, and then stayed upstairs til around noon because it took time to nurse, pump, shower, and get dressed. Around 1:00 Mom was tired and took a nap. By the time she woke up, I was tired and took a nap. After my nap I nursed and pumped upstairs, which again took nearly an hour. By then it was nearly suppertime. I came downstairs and she complained that I was hardly around her that day, and that since she was going out to a restaurant with Michael and Rebecca that I would probably be in bed when she got back. How did this become my fault that she took a two hour nap when I was awake, and that she was going out for the evening??? I just had a baby for crying out loud, and she’s complaining about my lack of being downstairs! I had to admit I was glad they were going home soon. It was really hard for me to have company at my house just days after the baby was born. I am glad my family was able to see the baby, but it would have been more enjoyable for me to have been still pregnant at Christmastime. But they wouldn’t have liked that either. My parents and siblings have never quite understood the depth of my pain while pregnant and why I would have more children. They don’t understand that I’m willing to sacrifice to bring another life into the world and how important that is to me, Dave and God.

The day after Christmas, Jim and Patti Goke, and Mark and Sarah came over. Unfortunately, I was so out of it that day too, that I really didn’t enjoy the company to the extend I would have liked to. But mom and dad met and visited with Jim and Patti, and Mark and Sarah visited with Jim and Patti too.

I told Dave that since Christmas went by in such a fast blur that he would have to keep the Christmas tree up til spring since I hardly felt like I experienced Christmas. I managed to keep the tree there til February (but then I was tired of the cramped chaos mess :-)

Elizabeth's birth story (Ladies only!) :-)

The birth of Elizabeth Mary Ann (posted late, but better than never) I wrote this earlier, just posting it now.

Six weeks have passed since the beautiful birth of my youngest daughter, Elizabeth Mary Anne Landis, born Dec 20, 2009. She arrived a little early to our suprise and gave us a little worry just to keep us on our toes... here’s her story.

On the evening of Dec 19 Dave, Ben, Isaiah and myself relaxed with a late night movie after the young ones drifted off to sleep. As far as movies go it was good, but I did fall asleep on the couch because of the hour. I woke up a the end of the movie around 1:00 AM, and proceeded to use the bathroom as pregnant women often do. An odd thing happened. I won’t go into detail, but suffice it to say that I felt like my water was leaking. I was uncertain, but about 5 minutes later I went to the bathroom again and had the same feeling. I called Jeanie, my midwife, and we talked. I was uncertain because I was still 4 weeks away from my due date of Jan 15, so I didn’t think this could be happening. We decided the best thing for me to do, would be to get some sleep just in case something did happen, I would be somewhat rested.

Ya right. Do you know how hard it is to fall asleep with the anxiety of a looming labor and delivery in the air, much less an early one? Well I think I did sleep some. I vaguely remember about 8 contractions in my half sleep, when I awoke at 3:00 AM to use the bathroom again, my water broke more. I now thought that labor was certain. I called Jeanie again. My biggest worry was deciding on going to a hospital or staying home to birth. Usually Jeanie doesn’t allow a birth at home until 37 weeks, and I was at 36. She said the biggest worry would be if the baby needed oxygen. She said she has some, but if the baby looked like she was having trouble breathing we would call for a transport to the hospital and the baby would probably need oxygen for a couple hours or up to a couple days. Since it would be a problem that would be easily handled with the aid of her oxygen I felt more peaceful about staying home. I really didn’t want to go to the hospital. I am much more peaceful at home. That decided, we then talked about when she would come, but since my contractions were mild and I had been sleeping through them, I decided to have her wait to come.

I tried to sleep more, but I get so worried and anxious about the pain of labor that I just couldn’t sleep. Dave and I mostly just laid in the dark, talked once in a while, and called a few people to ask them to pray. Contractions were still light and about 15 minutes apart. Then around 4:00, I had 3 hard contractions right on top of each other. Jeanie was called immediately. Come fast, was the order!

Dave began to fill the bathtub for me and came to my side at the bed for each contraction. In between, he awoke Regina and Clare - who didn’t believe Dave - they thought he was joking, mostly because I was a month early, and some because they just watched “Father of the Bride 2” which was about two baby deliveries, so they thought Dave was teasing. But they soon believed him and they came to my aid as well. After a couple hard contractions I had a strong sense of wanting to get OUT of my bed and into the warm water. Dave said it was ready so I practically ran (as much as a woman in labor with a walker can run) to the bathroom to get in the tub. But then he said it was too hot, so I sat on the floor and waited. Another awful contraction. I thought I’d have the baby right there. It scared me. Moments later I sank into the warm bath waters and relaxed. Heavenly. Untill the next contraction anyway.

Earlier, when Dave had made a few calls for prayer requests, he texted Fr. Corey to pray for me. He actually answered. Not like him, especially at 4:00 in the morning! When he answered I had a sudden strong feeling to demand that he go to adoration for me at that exact moment and stay till the baby was born. He texted back, “Now?” Dave texted back, “Yes - that’s what she insists.” He agreed, reluctantly, but he did :-) Now, I asked Regina to run downstairs and get the picture of the Eucharist for me and place it where I can see it. It was right in front of me during the last hour or so of labor. Each time I looked upon it I was reminded that a real person was in front of the Real Presence on my behalf at that moment. It was beyond comforting!

At this point my contractions were stronger and Jeanie and Melissa, her assistant, were still not to my house. I was beginning to worry. The contractions were closer and harder, but I was just focusing on that picture of the Blessed Sacrament before me and praying. At one point I sat back and relaxed between contractions and Dave rubbed my back. It felt soooo good. I remember thinking how different this labor was from William’s labor, and how I had enough energy for it this time. That made me happy.

Finally Jeanie arrived and started setting out her supplies right away. Melissa arrived just a few minutes after her. I had begun to feel like pushing so they arrived just in time. I don’t know why I felt this way, but I felt the urge to speak to Elizabeth at that moment. I told her to get ready and to get into position. I arched a little and suddenly it seemed like I felt her roll into position. It was the weirdest feeling. Then another contraction occurred and she started coming down! She came out in one relatively easy push. Jeannie grabbed her and I turned around and scooped my newborn into my arms and onto my chest. She was so small! I worried a bit about that, but Jeannie assured me that she wasn’t too small. Breathing was the biggest issue at that point, so both midwives rubbed Elizabeth vigorously to get her lungs going. Her breathing was great and her lungs were very clear, she was just fine.

I still couldn’t believe how small she was though. I never had a baby this small. Well I guess Clare was 7# 3oz but she didn’t SEEM this small. Maybe I only felt this way because she was early and I was concerned, but my LAST daughter was 9# 4oz!!! Elizabeth is 6 weeks old and she is just starting to look like Maggie’s baby pictures.

So after a few minutes to take a breather after birthing Elizabeth, we made our way back to the bed to cuddle up and nurse. Oh how I love that brand new baby nursing experience. I love the bonding it creates. Then I took a break to eat breakfast - Dave makes the BEST breakfasts after I have a baby - Eggs, sausage, homemade hash browns... a big plate of them, then seconds!

Jeannie and Melissa then do a throughout newborn exam on Elizabeth. I just wanted to know what her weight was! My girls, Regina and Clare LOVE to be involved, so of course they are right in there with the midwives helping where they can. During her newborn exam, it was noticed that Elizabeth’s umbilical cord was somewhat herniated. This was something to be concerned about so we called in to our family doctor. The doctor on call said it probably wasn’t something that needed emergency care at that moment, but to bring her in within a couple of days. We took the first appointment available which was Tuesday.

As they were continuing with the newborn exam, I became very light-headed, even though I was just sitting. They came and checked me and I was starting to clot and hemorrhage. Jeanne had to break up a large clot and get it out and then give me a shot of pitocin to help with the uterine contracting. I am glad that she is able to carry some of those low level emergency supplies like oxygen and pitocin for times such as this. Within a half hour or so the bleeding was down enough that she was not worried about me any longer, but she did say that this border-lined on being called a bad hemorrhage.

The Census

So Dave is not exactly the type to sit down and fill out forms, I usually get that job by default, but today Dave decided he is going to fill out the 2010 Census. I guess filling it out ourselves is better than the years in the centuries prior where someone would come to the door and meet our barely speaking English immigrant ancestors; ask their name, age, and race; and then illegibly misspell the name the census worker thought they heard on their forms so that we can look it up 150 years later on ancestry.com. I digress. So Dave is filling in the info and I can see that each person is dedicated their own page. I ask him how many people can be filled in, after all, we have a large family and on other forms I usually have to add a second sheet and write, “see attached”. Luckily there are room for 12 people! If Josiah were still living at home, we’d have filled the whole thing! Hey the Larsens can fill the whole thing! Cool. I digress again. So, Dave is having trouble remembering everyone’s birthdays and I’m thinking this could be quite entertaining... so I quietly listen to him fill in the blanks... out loud. Dominic decides he’s the birthday expert and wants to help. I giggle. Dominic is feeding him wrong information. Giggle again. Other kids correct Dominic. Then Dave gets one right, and Dominic tells him he’s wrong. More kids correct him. By this point I can’t keep it in. “See how hard it is!!!” I exclaim. I just had to list all their birthdays last Friday - and I had to do it in a couple minutes. Dave so far has taken quite a few, of course his little assistant wasn’t making things any easier. Oh what a joyful and heartwarming, funny moment. At least I don’t feel like the only one with birthdate memory loss any more... :-)