Christmas

Well, I write about Christmas almost two months after the date (it’s Feb 20 today) and I hardly remember much of it! Christmas is such a blur from waking up in the middle of the night, and nursing, and nursing, and nursing... But I do remember this:

We arrived home on Christmas Eve at 4:00. My mother had made dinner for us (don’t remember what) and it took us most of the evening to unload and get settled. Nursing took some time because I had to nurse, burp, nurse, burp, and pump. The lactation consultant came to visit me in the hospital, and said that since she was premature I should pump after each feeding to make sure my milk supply comes in well enough, and that I should continue doing so until my due date. So a nursing session took about an hour.

Eventually after supper, nursing, and unpacking, baby and I came downstairs and joined the family. Dad and Mom, and Tony came from ND. Rebecca and Michael came over at suppertime. After supper we opened presents; the many presents from various places and people God blessed us with. We couldn’t afford presents for the kids this year, so our church stepped in and blessed our kids beyond what I could have imagined. The church asked me if I could tell them a suggestion of what the kids would like. For a couple of the kids, I wrote they would like either “this” or “that”. To my surprise, they kids received both! Ben even received the Minnesota Wild wrist watch that I only knew could be bought online or at the Mall of America! He loves it so much. Then Josiah brought up a bunch of presents that he bought, and he also brought over a bunch of presents that someone from the church he lives by dropped off. (At Halloween, someone from the church came to all the apts in his building looking for homes with children - she had bags of candy with bible verses and advertisements for their church. Josiah said no kids live there, but that he had 9 siblings.) The lady came to his door and said, “Remember me? I have some gifts for your siblings.” And of course, she asked if she could pray with Josiah too. They each received a general “boy” or “girl” gift, like puzzles or a teddy bear. The little kids loved it.

Our tree, which was put up on Sunday the day Elizabeth was born, still had not been decorated, so after the kids had opened a bunch of presents and things slowed down, the older kids decorated the tree. Then we all relaxed until about 10:30. Rebecca and Tony went to the late mass, and the rest went to bed and went to church in the morning. I didn’t make it to Christmas mass, walking was still very painful for me. I still have a very hard time with the stairs - they are overwhelming, but I needed to come down to visit with family, yet go back up every couple hours for nursing and pumping, which was very stressful physically and mentally. Just a week prior, when I was still pregnant, I only tackled the stairs once a day. In fact I would try to sleep in as much as possible so I didn’t need to go back up there for a nap. But after she was born, and when company was here, I felt obligated to be downstairs. My mom complained one day she was here. I had slept in til 10:00 or so, and then stayed upstairs til around noon because it took time to nurse, pump, shower, and get dressed. Around 1:00 Mom was tired and took a nap. By the time she woke up, I was tired and took a nap. After my nap I nursed and pumped upstairs, which again took nearly an hour. By then it was nearly suppertime. I came downstairs and she complained that I was hardly around her that day, and that since she was going out to a restaurant with Michael and Rebecca that I would probably be in bed when she got back. How did this become my fault that she took a two hour nap when I was awake, and that she was going out for the evening??? I just had a baby for crying out loud, and she’s complaining about my lack of being downstairs! I had to admit I was glad they were going home soon. It was really hard for me to have company at my house just days after the baby was born. I am glad my family was able to see the baby, but it would have been more enjoyable for me to have been still pregnant at Christmastime. But they wouldn’t have liked that either. My parents and siblings have never quite understood the depth of my pain while pregnant and why I would have more children. They don’t understand that I’m willing to sacrifice to bring another life into the world and how important that is to me, Dave and God.

The day after Christmas, Jim and Patti Goke, and Mark and Sarah came over. Unfortunately, I was so out of it that day too, that I really didn’t enjoy the company to the extend I would have liked to. But mom and dad met and visited with Jim and Patti, and Mark and Sarah visited with Jim and Patti too.

I told Dave that since Christmas went by in such a fast blur that he would have to keep the Christmas tree up til spring since I hardly felt like I experienced Christmas. I managed to keep the tree there til February (but then I was tired of the cramped chaos mess :-)