Colic

Can colic ever be avoided completely? I don’t recall ever escaping it with any of my kids, though some have been milder than others. Well Elizabeth was no exception, as she began a fussy period around 6 weeks. She would sleep fine all day, but around suppertime she would fuss and fuss and cry. Dave would have to walk her to sleep, but she would only sleep for about 10 minutes and then wake and cry again. She wasn’t too bad but I couldn’t take care of her without Dave. One time, the girls and I stayed overnight at Patti Goke’s house, and Elizabeth cried til past midnight. It was a very hard night for me. A couple weeks into this, I took Elizabeth to Dr. Sarah for a chiropractor adjustment. She is so good with babies. She said her Vegas nerve was pinched. That nerve deals with digestion, so it would make sense that Elizabeth was fussy and pulling her legs up to her stomach (stomach pain?). After one adjustment she cried less, after two her fussiness was completely gone. She is such a pleasant baby again. She gently goes to sleep by sucking her pacifier now. It’s very sweet, and fun to watch. She is 11 weeks old now and is such a joy.

My depression

Well, as I stated briefly previously... my postpartum depression, my regular companion after childbirth, came to be with me on postpartum day 2, the day we entered the hospital. For me, that meant starting to cry, and only stopping briefly occasionally. On the evening of our first day in the hospital I scolded myself for not asking for a shot while we were at Spencer’s clinic that day, but it wasn’t even on my radar because of Elizabeth’s problems. Oh well, so much for “could haves” and “should haves”. The next day, after surgery while Elizabeth and I were resting, Dave ran home to get some things, check on the kids, and swung by the clinic and picked up two shots for me. The next day at the hospital we found a super kind nurse who said she would stand by and watch Dave inject me to make sure I was injected in the right place and the right way, since Dave had never done it yet. When they disagreed on where it should go in, my back suddenly filled with sweat and I got nauseous! So I made them quit and said I would wait til I was home and have Michael do it. When I did get home, Michael wouldn’t do it! He wanted Dave to learn. I was not happy. He did teach Dave though and Dave did wonderfully. I hardly felt it. But I was very nervous. Two days later Dave had to give me the other one and it hurt that time, and for a day or two after my hip joint hurt. It made me wonder if he put it in a wrong place, but I will never know.

I think I only took a total of 3 shots. I went to the clinic for one more after the two at home, and they gave me one to take home, but since I was a little nervous about Dave giving it to me I toughed it out and didn’t take it. I was feeling borderline and I guess I fell on the ok side of the border since I did ok without the shot. I did get a little depressed feeling again a couple weeks later, but I was too tired to get a shot, and it passed.

The Second Problem: Biliruben

We had a second problem with Elizabeth which started before she went into the hospital , her biliruben was too high. At first Dave, myself, and Jeanne (our midwife) disagreed and refused the test for it, finding it unnecessary. But after 3 doctors in the hospital requested it, I succumbed only after they agreed to do the blood draw right in front of me and while I nursed. I did NOT want her being upset by a needle stick right after having surgery on her belly. I was fearful the crying would be too much on her surgical site. Well, her levels came back just below the criteria level for treatment. She was to be tested again the next day, but they would have home-health care come to my house to test her since it was Christmas and there would be no clinics open. The next testing came back high so they ordered a bili-bed for her. It was like this.
She just had to lay on it with only her diaper on. It didn’t seem very comfortable - like a very taught hammock, but I guess she didn’t mind it. She was still young enough to sleep on a board. I was sleeping when the person delivering it came, so when I woke up I saw Elizabeth all packaged in it. I cried though when I saw her in it, mostly because I was still having postpartum depression, hmm did I mention that yet? I guess that will be it’s own subject later.

She remained in it for a couple of days, only coming out for feedings and changing diaper. I hated that because I was in those first critical days of bonding and all I wanted to do was hold her! Especially after just coming home from surgery and feeling like life was fragile - I just wanted to hold her and now I wasn’t supposed to. I cheated a few times and held her for a couple hours anyway. The light did help though - and within hours she was perking up. High biliruben makes babies very sleepy - which makes it hard to nurse them and they need to nurse to pee out the biliruben. After a few days of high biliruben, if it’s not excreted in the urine, it goes into the blood stream and then the ultra-violet lights are needed to break it down and excrete it. After a day on the lights she was waking up on her own finally, instead of my trying to wake her up. She would nurse sooo much better and she was starting to pee more. So I was thankful for the light (in retrospect).

Surgery Day

During the morning of the surgery, at 4:00 AM, I was no longer allowed to nurse Elizabeth, as she needed to fast before her surgery. I predicted this would be very hard, so I stressed and cried during each feeding prior to 4 AM. But the first time she awoke for a feeding after 4:00, she actually took a pacifier quite well and fell back asleep. Still, I felt guilty in doing it. My heart broke because I couldn’t feed her. I don’t even remember now how many more times I went through that. I didn’t sleep well all night, and I was very tired by the morning. Remember, I was still very much in pain and not able to take a single step without the walker, could barely roll over without help, and couldn’t even lift my legs up onto the bed by myself. Thankfully Dave stayed in the hospital with us for my sake.

Side note: Another thing to be thankful for was the many friends who stepped in to help with the kids left at home. On the first night, Artzens brought a meal, Regina was with Rebecca my sister, Kostick’s took Isaiah, Dominic and Jeremiah. Clare, Ben, Maggie and William stayed here with Mark Meuer who stayed overnight with them. On the second night, Father Corey came to visit, so did Mel Larsen who also brought food, and Suzanne Peach took all my kids but William and Ben. William would have done better in his own home anyway. And Ben was grateful for the other kids to be out of the house.

Back to the morning of the surgery:

At some time in the morning, I don’t even remember when now, the nurse came in to take us downstairs. I started praying (and crying) as Dave and I took our daughter down to surgery. We met with the anesthesiologist and with the doctor. Dr. Feltiz was very kind and understanding. He knew I was concerned with Elizabeth’s young age, and he told us that he’d performed surgery on even smaller babies. Just the day before he’d operated on a baby less than a pound. Eventually handed over Elizabeth to the nurse who would take her to the surgery. Then I broke down and bawled. Dave and I cried together. I don’t like reliving this again even as I write it weeks after the fact.

We moved to a less private waiting room with other families who’s children were in surgery too. They all seems so calm and collected, nonchalant even. I couldn’t stop crying, Dave went to find food for us, and to call people for prayers. He dealt with his stress by occupying his mind on the phone. After my kleenex pile was embarrassingly large and I had not the ability to bring it to a garbage can, I apologized to the young woman closest to me. She asked me about my child’s surgery. I told her what it was and how Elizabeth was only 3 days old! She replied that her child’s first surgery was at 3 days old too, and that she was a total mess as well. She was now at her child’s 3rd surgery, he was 3 months old. She soon left and a new family took her place. Dave was still not back, so I fumbled my way from my wheelchair to the waiting room couch. The man near me asked if I needed help. I thanked him, but said I could make it, but that it would be helpful if he would read the tv screen which said when Elizabeth would be in surgery since I couldn’t see it from where I sat. The children’s names are not on the screen, they are listed by birthdate. I told him to look for 12-20. “Three days old?” he asked. I replied, “yes,” and teared up again. He looked at me with such compassion and said that his daughter had her first surgery at three days old too. She’s now 12 and has had many surgeries. My heavenly Father sure knew who to bring near me that day - two other people who had been through my exact sorrow. They were both a comfort to me that day. Visiting with them helped the time go by fast, and soon the doctor was in to tell me that he was done. Dave was STILL gone, so I talked with the doctor alone. But it was good news. She did wonderful in surgery, and of the 5 scenarios, her’s was the best. She had her bladder caught up in the muscles of the umbilical cord, and a little bit of vein and artery too. He tied them off and put everything in place and sewed her a bellybutton. Dave came in minutes later, and I told him the news. I cried with relief of course, and I was happy that Dave was back. Soon a nurse came to direct us into the hall to retrieve Elizabeth. A nurse put her in my arms and I kissed and kissed her. The trip back upstairs is a blur, I probably don’t remember it because I had so many tears in my eyes and saw nothing but my baby!

For the rest of the day and into some of the evening, Elizabeth was very groggy as the anesthetic wore off. By the evening she was nursing again and looking more like herself. We were told she would be going home in the morning. I was glad to hear that, as the doctors said that if she developed an infection from the surgery she could be in the hospital until Christmas day. Mom and Dad were coming in to town that night, they arrived and only Ben and William were there. The rest of the kids were still at the Peach’s for a couple more hours. The next morning we were told Elizabeth could go home. Actually, because hospitals never do anything quickly, it was more like 3:00 when we were released. Dave packed up all our stuff and brought it out to the car first while I waited in the room with baby. At that moment, all the stress from the past 3 days came out again. I cried and cried and cried. A mother’s love is indescribable, and the pain of seeing my child go though surgery is agonizing. I’m so glad it’s over. I hope Elizabeth knows how much we love her and how this broke our heart to see her go through it.

Buying a new warranty

Well, in line with my last post, I'm am going to buy myself an extended warranty.

I have done my research (well actually Dave did for me since I can't think straight) consulted two doctors - one MD, one Naturopathic - and I'm off to start my plan of rebuilding my adrenals back up. If you are dying to know, I'm going to be taking a boat load of supplements to rebuild since I'm that depleted. I'm taking:

whole desiccated adrenal cortex, but only for a short time.
P5P, the activated form of B6
pantothenic acid
niacinamide
Vitamin C
B12
tyrosine

in addition to my daily multi-vitamin, omega 3's and 6's (say burping fishing oil - yuck), vitamin D, and extra iron. So instead of eating cereal and milk in the morning, I eat a bowl full of pills :-) Well, I prefer that to pharmaceuticals. I did go through adrenal exhaustion before after having Maggie. I was on an adrenal supplement for over a year. My naturopathic doctor did some tests on me and told me that I was one of two patients in all his years of practice who had their adrenals that low. On a scale of 0-10, I scored a 2 (via blood tests, hair sample analysis, and applied kinesiology). I'm guessing that during that year I worked my way up to a 5 or 6, felt much better (in comparison to a 2) and didn't refill my supplements, as they are kind of expensive. 3 pregnancies later (two full, one miscarried), my body has depleted itself again, most likely back into that "2" range or lower, since my symptoms are worse. This time I'm going to do better and stick to my care plan better.

I am also needing to get off the sugar and processed foods. These foods, especially sugar, work the adrenal very hard, so it is necessary to combine this step with the supplements. Pray for me on this journey. This is going to be hard.

My warranty

Today the sun was shining so I knew today would be the day to do any driving errands, as cloudy days make me scared to drive because I get too brain-fogged. Ben was out with me. I missed a few turns and forgot a few very important items (like Ben's birth certificate so he could take his permit test). I was feeling brain-fogged anyway. Ben asked me why I've been so forgetful and spacey lately. I explained that I'm adrenal fatigued. I had a list of symptoms quite long. I can't remember all of what I told Ben, but this is what I'm experiencing...
1. Excessive fatigue and exhaustion, chronic fatigue
2. Non-refreshing sleep
3. Sleep disturbance, insomnia
4. Feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope
5. Craving salty and/or sweet foods
6. Sensitivity to light
7. Low stamina and slow to recover from exercise
8. Slow to recover from injury or illness
9. Difficulty concentrating, brain fog
10. Low immune function
11. Menopause symptoms
12. Low blood pressure
13. Sensitivity to cold
14. Allergies,
15. Arthritis
17. Anxiety
18. Irritability
19. Depression
20. Reduced memory

Then Ben said, "So, basically what you are saying is that your warranty has expired?"

"Yes, I guess when the warranty ends, the product breaks down doesn't it?"

I just hope they don't trade me in for a new model!

So our afternoon of errands went on... We went to the driving school to sign him up for the 6 hrs of Behind the Wheel, but we forgot Ben's money. So I wrote a check. Then we had to drive all the way back home and get his birth certificate and go back to where we were (plus a little farther) to the DMV. I brought the baby in to give her a quick nursing and diaper change, grabbed Ben's money, the birth certificate, and we were off again. Stopped at the bank to deposit Ben's money to cover my check, arrived at the DMV 20 minutes later. I couldn't figure out where to park. The DMV does driver's tests there so there is a small pretend city set up around the grounds for new drivers to take their test right there rather than on real city streets. In my confusion, I ran one of their red lights, and then almost went down a one way the wrong way. It was stupid. It was a street with four lanes going one direction separating two parking lots! Finally I found a place to park, and entered the building only to find out that they locked the door just 3 mintues before our arrival in the building. They close at 3:45??? There was a lady there complaining that they shut and locked the door right as she was the next in line to enter, and that the same thing happened to her yesterday too! I guess when we go next time I'll make sure we go there when public school is in session so we don't have to battle the lines! So back to home we started only to notice that we were almost out of gas! My van is unpredictable, and I've run out of gas in it twice before, so we started praying to make it to a gas station! Well, we did thankfully. Then I went home and took a well needed nap!